The 13th Floor

Real-life King Kong Killed By Climate Change — Not Beauty!

A startling scientific study says the real-life KING KONG was killed not by Beauty nor .30-30 Vickers machine guns – but by climate change!

While the movies’ King Kong may have been the stuff of special effects wizardry notably created by stop-motion maestro Willis O’Brien and his team, a new report delves deep into the primordial past of giant man-apes. According to a new report, the prehistoric man-ape Giganthopithecus who became extinct 100,000 years ago was towering ten feet tall and weighed approximately 1,100 pounds. While not up to Godzilla standards, this Kong–precursor was ruler of his primitive world.

Like other arboreal critters, the vegan forest-dweller died out to due to its inability to adapt to changing climate conditions. Thanks to global warming, his once lush forest turned to water-logged savannah like those home to swampy man-things.

Kong-eltive to human

Archaeologists from the Senckenberg Centre for Human Evolution and Palaeoenvironment, Tübingen (say THAT five times fast) and from the Senckenberg Research Institute in Frankfurt got busy and analyzed remnants of tooth enamel to ascertain what may have killed the once massive great apes. While some believe the monstrous simian to be a connoisseur of veggies, others believe it chomped down on meatier, smaller mammals. “Unfortunately, there are very few fossil finds of Gigantopithecus – only a few large teeth and bones from the lower mandible are known,” Prof. Hervé Bocherens of the University of Tübingen elaborated.  “But now, we are able to shed a little light on the obscure history of this primate.” None of which placed the king-sized Kong at his usual environs of Skull Island nor with his legendary capture and Manhattan misadventures.


“Our results indicate that the large primates only lived in the forest and obtained their food from this habitat,” he said. “Gigantopithecus was an exclusive vegetarian, but it did not specialize on bamboo” as did its Panda-like orangutan descendants. The top doc’s best guess is that the big monkey became too heavy to scale trees to suckle on fresh fruits and veggies. Like many other megafaunal species, the hairy herbivore was killed off because of its inability to adapt to the world around it as it changed dramatically.

“Relatives of the giant ape, such as the recent orangutan, have been able to survive despite their specialization on a certain habitat,” the prof. claimed. “However, orangutans have a slow metabolism and are able to survive on limited food. Due to its size, Gigantopithecus presumably depended on a large amount of food. When during the Pleistocene era more and more forested areas turned into savannah landscapes, there was simply an insufficient food supply for the giant ape-”

Unless it found solace on an isle where natives offered up tasty eats to their monster-god or virginal sacrifice to appease its Kong-sized appetite.

Annex - Wray, Fay (King Kong)_13

Good news for “Beauty” Ann Darrow – you can finally walk on that Kong manslaughter rap after all these years.

Mother Nature takes the fall on this one…

Sourcing here.



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