The 13th Floor

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School Kids Terrified by Emergency Alert from “Humoctopus From the Future”

A primary school in Woodland, Washington went under emergency lockdown yesterday after the following bizarre announcement reportedly came over PA loudspeakers throughout the building: This is a Humoctopus. I am speaking to you from the future. Run for your lives, wretched humans! I will smash you all! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Understandably, a large number of very young […]

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The True Story of “The Town That Banned Halloween”

If you’re familiar with the later sequels in the HALLOWEEN franchise, and I’m sure you are, you know there’s a point where Haddonfield completely bans the holiday. While Oil City, PA may not have experienced a rampant serial killer, they did endure something equally awful: On October 27th, 1992, 11-year-old Shauna Howe went missing two blocks […]