The 13th Floor

Will Monday’s Solar Eclipse Trigger an Invasion of Lizard People?

This may seem like a parody piece, but you’ve got to admit we live in extremely weird times… and it’s getting easier to imagine just about anything could happen as we teeter on the brink of global doom. Maybe.

That said, this theory is pretty bonkers… so it’s a bit surprising to learn how much traction it’s getting in mainstream news over the past week or so, particularly after gaining credibility from local authorities (who may or may not be playing a sly prank).

You probably know about the impending total solar eclipse on Monday, 8/21, and you’ve probably been instructed on the possible dangers associated with this brief occlusion of the sun by the Earth’s passing moon, which will cast a shadow across large swaths of the planet’s surface. Most of the aforementioned dangers involve looking directly into the eclipse without proper eye protection… but apparently a fair number of people in South Carolina are concerned about a very different problem than potential blindness.

As reported by multiple major outlets including Newsweek and Fortune, agents of the South Carolina Emergency Management Division (SCEMD) appear to be getting a bit nervous after receiving numerous reports from locals claiming a potential increase in paranormal activity during the eclipse… specifically, an invasion of “lizard people.”

They even tweeted “Eclipse Safety Tips” marking eight sites where the reptilian cryptids have been allegedly spotted recently:

We’ve previously covered three decades’ worth of sightings and local legends surrounding these large, scaly, red-eyed cryptids throughout South Carolina, although any regional lore we’ve researched doesn’t specify whether reptoid activity escalates during eclipses… and agents who posted the previous tweet have no idea either.

“SCEMD does not know if Lizardmen become more active during a solar eclipse,” they commented, “but we advise that residents of Lee and Sumter counties should remain ever vigilant.”