Before he was a reality star and long before he became the husband of television celebrity Sharon Osbourne, Ozzy Osbourne was the Prince of Darkness and Undisputed Dark Lord of rock and roll. As a star with six decades in the music business, first with Black Sabbath and then on his own, it goes without saying that he’s probably seen and done it all. His tenure, along with an admitted long-time drug and alcohol addiction, has only added to the number of insane stories Ozzy and those around him have to tell. Here is a collection five well-known and not-so-well-known tales of crazy debauchery from one of rock and rolls must celebrated madmen.
Biting the Head off a Bat… and Two Doves
Our first tale is the often spoke about and now legendary bat story. On January 20, 1982, while performing in Des Moines, Iowa, a member of the audience tossed a bat onstage. Believing the bat to be fake and also being on a copious amount of drugs and alcohol, Ozzy picked up the bat and placed its head in his mouth. Before succumbing to the rocker’s bite, the bat was able to get its revenge by chomping down on a bit of Ozzy’s tongue, which forced Ozzy to undergo treatment for rabies.
An accompaniment to this story is the time Ozzy bit the head off of two doves. This incident happened a year prior to the bat one, in March of 1981. At the time, Ozzy had just ended a long tenure with his band Black Sabbath and was heading out on his own. In an attempt to promote his upcoming release BLIZZARD OF OZZ and to have the label take him seriously as a solo performer, Ozzy attended a sales convention for Epic Records, at the time owned by CBS Records. Future wife Sharon Arden arranged for Ozzy to speak at the convention, and she also arranged to have three white doves released after his speech for dramatic effect. Not long after the speech and drunk off of an entire bottle of brandy, Ozzy quickly became bored. At one point during the convention, while a PR woman for CBS droned on and on, a bored Ozzy asked her if she liked animals. After the PR woman said yes, Ozzy picked up one of the nearby doves and bit its head off. Afterwards he spit it on the table, then grabbed the other dove and did the same.
The CBS brass was livid and threw Ozzy out of the event, shouting he would never work for CBS again. However, through Arden’s ability as a spin artist, the event was reworked in Ozzy’s favor and BLIZZARD OF OZZ became a million selling album. From this point on, Ozzy proved that scandals that at one time would have killed a career, only helped rocket him into super-stardom.
Fought a Robber Naked
Despite decades of on the road debauchery, Ozzy has been married to Sharon Osbourne since 1982. Although thirty-five years of marriage to this notorious rocker has probably given her an extensive collection of stories to tell, the most notable is probably the time Ozzy protected the love of his life and his castle like a knight in shining armor… without the armor. According to Sharon, Ozzy sleeps in the nude. Which might be not the best option for when a burglar breaks into your home in the middle of the night. One night, while Ozzy was using the bathroom, he noticed a man in a ski-mask walking through his house. The brave and naked Ozzy grabbed the intruder from behind, while more than likely screaming a few incomprehensible curses at him. The robber, now fearing for either his life and the naked homeowner, broke free from Ozzy and jumped from the second story window.
Snorted a Line of Ants
This story comes from fellow rockers Motley Crue, who have their own personal collection of insane Ozzy tales to tell. According to Crue, while on tour with Ozzy in 1984, Ozzy and Crue were on a cocaine and alcohol binge while at the same time were having a contest to see who could gross each other out. As their tour bus unloaded outside the Ritz Carlton in Florida, Ozzy found a popsicle stick with a line of ants marching towards it. Ozzy proceeded to kneel over the ants and snort them up like a line of cocaine.
Ozzy Pees on the Alamo
The Ozzy Alamo story has been slightly morphed over the years. According to legend, on February 19, 1982, after urinating on the Alamo, Ozzy was banned from ever playing San Antonio ever again. However, this version of the incident in only slightly true. The San Antonio, Texas mission was the sight of the most famous battle of Texas’ War of Independence in 1836, and it is an extreme source of pride for any Texan. In fact, one tour guide told the Boston Herald in 2003, that if Ozzy had urinated on the Alamo, “the police wouldn’t have arrested him. The would have beaten him to death within an inch of his life.”
In actuality, Ozzy was arrested for urinating on the Alamo Cenotaph. This 60-foot tall statue in honor of the 189 Texans killed at the Battle of the Alamo is actually adjacent to the mission. Ozzy was arrested for public urination and intoxication, but was released after posting a $40 bond. After his release, Ozzy’s trip to San Antonio was also spoiled by a group of kids who couldn’t get in to the sold-out show and began throwing rocks at concert goers. The incident sparked a riot which injured twenty-four people. Ozzy’s urination mishap accompanied by the riot prompted San Antonio to ban the rocker from ever playing again. The ban was lifted ten years later when Ozzy donated $10,000 to the Daughters of the Republic of Texas.
Ozzy Loses Germany
According to Ozzy’s book I AM OZZY, while in Germany promoting the album BLIZZARD OF OZZ, Ozzy and the gang were having a sit-down dinner with the head of CBS Europe. Describing himself as being “out of his clock” at the time, Ozzy decided to do a what he thought was a striptease for the exec. While everyone around him laughed, Ozzy stood up on the table and began stripping out of his clothes. The laughter quickly fell silent as a naked Ozzy began urinating in the execs wine carafe then kneeled down to kiss him on the lips. The next day on the flight out of Berlin, Sharon angrily admonished Ozzy on how is antics had ensured that they would not get any radio airplay in Germany. Ozzy, still proud of himself, was then informed that he had not actually done a striptease. Instead Ozzy had actually gotten up on the table, stripped naked, goose-stepped like a Nazi, then urinated in the execs’ wine. Then, just for good measure, he had dipped his testicles in the carafe. Yet in his drunken state, he had forgotten all except the striptease part.