There are two things we horror fans love; getting spooked and sequels! Why, if we had our way, every horror movie would have sequels! They would have so many sequels, released annually, that by the fifth one we would all complain about there being too many sequels! Then, when the studio stops making sequels because we stopped going to see them, we would complain that they stopped making the sequels!
We love sequels so much that we end up spending more time coming up with them than some of the people who actually make the movies! We tweet out our ideas, or write 1500 word treatments that end up on Facebook for our friends to like and give hearts. We do this because, deep down, these movies mean a great deal to us. They are the glue of our community, the experiences we share together, even when we live thousands of miles apart. Horror sequels are our friends coming by for a visit, and we couldn’t be happier to see them, even if they overstay their welcome sometimes.
With that in mind, I would like to present to you some missed opportunities for sequels to movies that never got them. Come with me and think up some ideas for the next installment in your favorite movies!
SECOND TO LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT
The Collingwood family has just been through hell and their neighbors, the Montgomerys, are worried… about how all this murder and rape will hurt the value of their home.
The Montgomerys have put their home on the market, but now that their neighborhood has been the host of a horrible tragedy, the market value is quickly dropping! No one wants to live next to such horrific scenes! In order to try and get their block out of the news, Stan and Laura Montgomery drive two towns over and begin a murder spree of their own.
While Wes Craven’s cult classic was a hardcore nasty as hell flick, we want to get butts in seats, so we’ll tone down the really bad stuff for this one. After all, look how long Craven’s NIGHTMARE series was able to go once they made Freddy lovable!
W. Murnau’s silent classic is currently being remade by the writer/director of THE WITCH, Robert Eggers, so we better get working on ideas for a sequel now – this way Eggers can slip in some clues where the story will go into his movie.
Decades since the death of Count Orlok, his castle lies in ruins until it is purchased by a strange man named Kolro Von Notevil. Von Notevil fixes up the castle and turns it into a bed and breakfast for weary travelers. The weird thing is, people keep going to the castle, but they never seem to leave! What could be happening? And why does Thomas Hutter feel like he’s met Von Notevil before?
It’s because Kolro Von Notevil is really Count Orlok’s son! What a twist! Audiences will never see it coming! Hit me up, Eggers!
DRAG ME TO HELL 2: DRAG ME OUT OF HELL
Christine Brown needs saving, and only Clay Dalton, Rham Jas and an elite team of Marines who have trained to enter hell!
DRAG ME TO HELL did well at the box office, but we’re gonna take a hint from James Cameron and make this one an all out action flick filled with cool dialogue and lots of shooting! We’re gonna break records at the box office, especially when we cast Vin Diesel as Vince Strongarm, the head of Devil Team Six, the elite Marines sent into hell! But what will Clay do when he learns that his one time fiance isn’t a captive in hell, but it’s new queen?! With a plot this contrived, we DARE you to stay home!
BABADOOK 2: BABABOOGALOO
With BABADOOK recently becoming an icon in LGBTQIA+ circles, IFC Films would be crazy to leave it as a one and done!
In this sequel, the Babadook has moved into e-books to stay relevant and to get his name out there, he’s released a song – ‘Do the Babadook Dook Dook!’ that all the kids love. What Babadook isn’t ready for is his greatest foe, Baba Booey himself, Gary Dell’Abate to show up with his own evil book looking to haunt single moms!
It’s a race to see who can top the best sellers charts and terrify the most mentally unstable moms possible in this overly expensive follow up to one of the most original movies in decades!
BLACK X-MAS 2: BLACK NEW YEAR’S EVE
Kelli Presley saw her college friends die before killing their murderers herself. Now, a week later, Kelli’s high school friends think she need to move on and get all the horrors she saw out of her head, and what better way than by going to a New Year’s Eve party?
What Kelli and her friends don’t know is that living in the walls of the house the New Year’s Eve party is happening at is Billy and Agnes’ creepy uncle Mitch, and he wants revenge!
With the success of ARROW, Katie Cassidy’s star is brighter than ever, so now is the best time to strike! Maybe we can fit in Mary Elizabeth Winstead too? She could be a gory ghost like Griffin Dunne in AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON.