M. Night Shyamalan is preparing to make a cinematic decision that is going to open floodgates, new fans pouring in at an uncontrollable rate, while those of us who’ve spent a great number of years following Shyamalan’s work still stand confidently behind the man. Today may be the very best time to climb back on the Shyamalan bandwagon. Shyamalan’s work is soaring, and he’s working on a new project that’s sure to leave horror fans drooling excessively, especially those of us who adore any film that brings a few noteworthy monsters together to do battle. In the case of GLASS – that’s the official title of Shyamalan’s upcoming pic – we’ll get a chance to see two stunning superhero stories meet in what promises real intensity and big scares.
GLASS will merge Shyamalan’s films UNBREAKABLE and SPLIT. Detailed plot points are still under wraps, as we’re quite a way off from the arrival of GLASS, but don’t be too bummed. This could be the career decision that truly defines Shyamalan, and that’s a pretty daring statement.
While you’re juggling all of the glorious Shyamalan possibilities, take a moment to consider a few other amazing characters that could have (and could, still) made for sublime onscreen feuds.
Chucky vs Annabelle
We’ve already seen Chucky sharing screen time with another hunk of plastic, so a hypothetical encounter between Chuck and Annabelle doesn’t sound as unfathomable as one may initially guess. A dance of this nature likely means Annabelle is going to have to approach the situation a bit “looser,” as being all up-tight and silent isn’t going to garner the greatest banter between these two. That said, if Don Mancini were to approach the material he could craft a hybrid of sorts, tapping into his experiences working on the straight-forward, no-nonsense chiller, CURSE OF CHUCKY, and the radically different and humor-heavy, SEED OF CHUCKY. If Mancini found the middle ground between those two we may see a truly inspired crossover, something we haven’t seen enough of in recent memory.
Jerry Blake vs Norman Bates
Who wouldn’t want to see two socially awkward and extremely uncontrollable psychopaths go to war for nut-job bragging rights? Jerry Blake, who ruined more than a single life in the criminally underrated psychological effort, THE STEPFATHER, or PSYCHO’s leading man, Norman Bates? Bates likely comes equipped with the perceived influence of his dear mother, Norma. That could tip this duel in the man’s favor. But let us not forget that Blake’s been mastering disguises and carving his way through suburbia for ages, and he’s never once assembled a disguise as lazy as the one Norman is accustomed to donning. In the end this one can be broken down in incredibly basic fashion, as this match is nothing more than two uber-nerdy maniacs going to war. But these two uber-nerdy maniacs are so even matched, they should produce some intense fireworks… even if picking a winner feels as impossible as climbing Mount Saint Elias.
Chromeskull vs The Collector
Both Chromeskull and the Collector have a lot of things in common. They’re both mask-wearing serial killers; they’re both of above average intelligence; they’re both on a mission to build an enormous body count; and neither man will let you breathe your last without seriously fucking you up. They’re both nasty characters who have clearly embraced the ugliness of this cruel world, and you can comfortably predict that both would pose all sorts of challenges to one another. Chromeskull is slightly less imposing in the realm of physicality, but he’s the more durable of the two, capable of surviving things that nine of 10 villains simply would not bounce back from. While Chromeskull has a big shiny blade, the Collector has a vast assortment of weapons. He can finish this tussle from close range or far. On paper the two stack up well, but I’m inclined to believe the Collector survives a handful of close calls before decisively bringing an end to Chromeskull, at which point he’ll (seeing this would be amazing) lean down slowly, extend an arm, clutch eerie cold and yank, hard – that bad ass mask separating from Chromeskull’s face with a sickening sound of flesh and tissue tearing.
Patrick Bateman vs Thomas Barclay
In many ways, this is the contemporary equivalent of Jerry Blake vs Norman Bates. Thomas Barclay is an absolute mad man who has something profoundly dark beneath his personal surface. He also has no qualms in targeting women. Patrick Bateman, meanwhile, is living with a few profoundly dark voices that seem eager to echo encouragement as he plans and enacts plenty of murders and executions. You may find Barclay considerably less imposing than Bateman, and he does control his emotions better. Is it all a ruse to lure any potential fool into a comforting lull so this insane night watchman can force Bateman into a battle he’s ill prepared for. Not that Bateman has ever been ill-prepared for anything. Expect Bateman to sleep with one eye open, ready to strike at any second of the day.
Side note: Barclay’s chances of emerging with a W would greatly increase if he could only lure Bateman into a dimly lit carport.
Victor Crowley vs The Creeper
I hope you saw this one coming.
Two of the few genre villains introduced in the last few decades, that may actually have what it takes to survive in the hearts of horror fans, would make for the most graphic one-on-one duel in genre history, and there’s no second-guessing that. Victor Crowley creates a human Pez dispenser without so much as struggling. Hell, he rips an entire tourist boat to pieces and never hesitates, never falters. He’s just a killing machine that, it would seem, has been cursed to relive a haunting night, loaded with violence and death, for the rest of his days. JEEPERS CREEPERS’ primary antagonist, The Creeper has a wealth of issues he’d like to deal with himself, I’m sure. The Creeper sniffs dirty underwear, rips heads clean from shoulders, sews hundreds of bodies together where he can… worship his handy work… right on church property. He’s got some real supernatural skills, which will certainly create new obstacles to overcome for Crowley. But can Crowley handle last-minute adjustments? He’s just protecting his swamp – a basic and primitive duty. Could he adapt should it be needed? Could he tap into unused regions of the brain, and become more than an ultraviolent ghost holding down his block, as they say? The bet is no: The Creeper gets the prediction. Here’s hoping he eats Victor’s overalls… he could use a style upgrade.