There isn’t anything in the world that makes my heart scream more than knowing that I have a true partner in crime… except maybe that time Tom Atkins hugged me. Okay, not even that. Beyond the Shudder and chill, I have a business partner, a best friend, a life coach, a date for every weekend, and someone who doesn’t question my sanity when I’m caught sitting in the dark alone watching A SERBIAN FILM. It’s important to have mutual support for each other, similar life goals, and an even body count. We keep chasing the same dream… even if it kills us.
Cinema history is overflowing with romantic couples worthy of a “relationship goals” hashtag, but few stand out more in my mind than the deadly duos in the horror genre. It is my firm belief that couples that slay together stay together. Eat your hearts out, Harry and Sally. These five horror movie couples take the “till death” vow literally…
Dewey and Gale (SCREAM, 1996, Directed by Wes Craven)
Deservingly at the top of this list of lovers are Deputy Dewey and Gale Weathers of the SCREAM franchise. From the beginning of the film series, Dewey lives every fanboy’s dream. He may let his infatuation with Gale melt his brain every now and then, but he got to marry his favorite television personality. Time and time again, Dewey and Gale have saved each other from obnoxious teenagers, from moving cars, and from knife-wielding masked maniacs. But what is most precious about this power couple is that, like a movie within a movie, we have had the rare opportunity to watch the romance between two actors evolve through the years both on and off screen.
Chucky and Tiffany (BRIDE OF CHUCKY, 1998, Directed by Ronny Yu)
With hearts of plastic, Chucky and Tiffany might not be the most committed to the whole love, honor, and obey— I mean cherish— thing, but they set a high standard for teamwork. After all, Tiffany spent ten years searching for her long lost lover. The least he could do is the dishes… or join her on the murder spree of a lifetime. Between Chucky’s resourcefulness and Tiffany’s Martha Stewart-inspired creativity, this gruesome twosome has an impressive death toll of nine in BRIDE OF CHUCKY alone. Ten if you count Chucky’s short fuse with Tiffany in the bathtub before she became a doll (and not in the endearing sense). Not bad for a couple of newlyweds.
Shaun and Liz (SHAUN OF THE DEAD, 2004, Directed by Edgar Wright)
Not all horror movie couples are malicious. Sure, Shaun tends to lack a solid life plan (or a dinner plan), but there is not any doubt that he carries a torch and a cricket bat for Liz. That red on his shirt? It’s from his bleeding heart. But Liz is far from a damsel in distress in this undying relationship. Working together to save what is left of the world, Shaun goes to great lengths to keep Liz’s brains from becoming zombie chow while Liz never misses an opportunity to shoot down zombies and shut up her nay-sayer friends. And at the end of a day of galavanting all over London, a day of new and unexpected adventures, the post-apocalyptic lovebirds conclude that the most romantic place in the world is at home on the couch. Who needs candlelit dinners when you can order takeout?
Ash and Linda (THE EVIL DEAD, 1981, Directed by Sam Raimi)
The short-lived passion between Ash and Linda was perhaps the most beautiful college romance in horror… until she got real ugly. But it was obvious that Ash loved Linda to pieces. And who could blame him? Linda had that pearly white grin, those mesmerizing wide eyes, and that irresistible screeching cackle. Unlike Ash’s future relationships, I have to believe that the adoration that Ash had for Linda was more than just pillow talk and he’s been trying to fill that empty space in his life to much dismay ever since. It’s too bad that Linda was so quick to lose her head. But I suppose you are never really alone when you have a boom stick and a chainsaw hand.
Will and Lori (FREDDY VS. JASON, 2003, Directed by Ronny Yu)
I was in high school when FREDDY VS. JASON was released into theaters and Will and Lori held a special place in my dark teenaged heart. Lori met the man of her dreams at the ripe confusing age of 14… and it wasn’t Freddy Krueger. Sure, Will left her without so much as a goodbye handshake but being locked away in an institution is a fairly forgivable excuse. Will and Lori’s star-crossed love story is every bit as strong as any of the classics and not even two of the most violent slashers of all time could come between them. Will is the guy who is always lurking when you’re in trouble, the guy who will fight resurrected evil for you, and the guy who pisses off your dad. What more could a young woman want?