The 13th Floor

Valentine’s Day Gift Guide For That Spooky Someone

Valentine’s Day is sometimes tough for the male humans out there carrying a bleeding heart because hunting down the perfect gift for that spooky someone can be a nightmare. You want to get her something that says “be mine”… or “please don’t give me the hose again.” Unfortunately, you won’t find anything that makes that kind of statement in the mall or at the Hallmark store, so you have to get creative.

But you can give your brains a rest as I have already studied the dark art of shopping for this celebration of undying love. Follow this simple gift guide to show appreciation for your macabre mistress…

Horror-Themed Candles and Body Scrubs by Scented Screams

As a woman, I can attest that us lady folk— even the rotting ones— appreciate good smells. Set the sinister mood on this romantic day by giving your ghoul a horror-themed scented candle by the Burbank-based merchant Scented Screams. Waxwork extraordinaire Kristen Hynes offers several macabre candles made from soy-based wax mixed with fragrant oils to add to your home’s killer ambiance. Lasso the moon for your deadly dame with The Last Survivor candle, meant to smell like outer space… or ocean mist and citrus. Charm your creepy cutie with that old Black Magic blending scents of fresh fruit and cinnamon. Or give her something to really scream about by adding the This House is Clean all-natural body scrub to your candle purchase.

ROSEMARY’S BABY Tannis Root Necklace Replica

Speaking of smells, tannis, anyone? While diamonds might be a girl’s best friend, you will score more points with your scary sweetheart if you order this ROSEMARY’S BABY tannis root replica necklace from The Bijoux Parlour. Nearly identical to the famous pendant worn by Mia Farrow in 1968, this recreation includes a shiny silver hollowed out pendant featuring a floral lace design. Don’t be a dud like Guy Woodhouse and give your gal a gift to remember. Perfect for Valentine’s Day (especially for a mother-to-be), this pendant is available with or without the matching silver chain. Tannis root not included.

Dearly Departed FATALLY YOURS Gourmet Chocolate Box by Vegan Treats Bakery

So you were able to cover up the smell of corpses in your home and you got your witchy woman that unusual necklace but you still haven’t satisfied her craving… for chocolate. Chocolates are a cliche staple of this bloody holiday but don’t think that you will survive another day with your darling horror hellion if you don’t pick up the Dearly Departed FATALLY YOURS gourmet chocolate box by Vegan Treats Bakery. Living inside this black heart-shaped box are 19 pieces of assorted white and Swiss chocolates in the shapes of skulls, hearts, and severed fingers. From chocolate chip cookie dough to black raspberry Scarab flavor, these ghoulish goodies are guaranteed to bring tears to her eyes. But the Vegan Treats Bakery has you covered as the box can be taken apart and converted into a fan and tear catchers as your wicked woman later grieves over the empty box.



A brain sits on a plate of leafy salad.

Before the sugar attack, it is strongly recommended to feed your womanly beast. Why not knock out dinner and a gift with a single purchase of CANNIBAL KITCHEN: A HORROR LOVER’S COOKBOOK by cuisine queen Shannon Rullo? Rullo has been on the horror scene for many years with her popular book of diabolical dishes beginning as a website full of horror movie-inspired recipes. She pairs each carefully crafted recipe with her personal commentary on a film that might cause you lose your lunch, making her book a necessity to doing dinner and a movie the horror way. Order CANNIBAL KITCHEN just in time for Valentine’s Day and satisfy your lover’s hunger on this special evening and every evening with “Maniacal Main Courses,” “Slasher Soups,” and “Sadistic Sides.” And don’t forget the “B-Rated Desserts.”

Skeleton Tunic Dress by Kreepsville 666

Nearly every woman has at least one little black dress hanging by the skeletons in her closet but she is likely missing this skeleton tunic dress by Kreepsville 666. This deadly designer’s classic ensemble features an anatomically accurate x-ray portrait of the human bone structure from the shoulders and rib cage down to the thighs. The dress itself comes in black or black, however, the skeleton print can be bought in various shades from standard white to green or purple. Shake a leg and head over to the Kreepsville 666 online store and get your monster maniac something that will show off her natural beauty inside and out.


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