The 13th Floor

The Scariest Kids’ Game EVER!: The Three Kings Ritual

We all have a catalogue of sleepover games we played as children. The usual standards are Bloody Mary, Light as a Feather Stiff as a Board, or putting someone’s hand in a bowl of warm water. But there is one game that should never be played, The Three Kings. This supernatural party game has been labeled the most dangerous game you could ever attempt, so dangerous in fact that I emphatically state right now- DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PLAY THIS GAME!

Now here is how the game is played. 

Three Kings requires two sober participants, the principal and the partner. Do not attempt to play by yourself. It is strongly suggested that both participants be of extremely sound mind and body. The game also requires one large windowless room (preferably a basement), a pack of candles, a bucket of water, a mug, an electric fan, 2 mirrors, 3 chairs, an alarm clock, a fully charged cell phone, and one object with sentimental value. Got it all? Let’s play!

The game begins at 11pm. Place one chair facing north in the center of the room. This is the throne. Place the other two chairs on either side, facing towards “the throne”, but at arm’s length away from it. These two chairs belong to “the queen” and “the fool”.

set-up

Next, place a mirror on the queen’s chair and the other on the fool’s chair. Both mirrors should line up to face the throne so that if you are seated in the throne you can see yourself from your peripheral view in both mirrors. Place the bucket and mug in front of the throne, but just out of reach. Then place the fan behind the throne, and set it on medium or low (not high). Now go into your bedroom, set the alarm clock for 3:30am, and place the candles, a lighter, and your cell phone next to your bed. Turn the lights off, and hold your sentimental object. Then climb into bed, and go to sleep.

At 3:30 in the morning, your alarm will go off. Stop the alarm, but keep the lights off. Hold onto your sentimental object and cell phone, light one candle, and then return to the “throne room” with the chairs and mirrors. If all goes according to plan, you should be sitting on your throne by 3:33am (no later) holding your cell phone, a burning candle, and sentimental object.

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A word of warning-

Do NOT continue the game if your cell phone is not fully charged, your alarm clock did not go off at exactly 3:30, the door to your throne room is closed, the fan is turned off, or you are not seated in your throne by 3:33am in the morning. If any of these rules are broken, get the hell out of the house and take everyone there with you. Do not come back until it’s at least 6am in the morning.

If all goes well…

If there were no issues and you are seated in your throne by 3:33, then the game can proceed. While seated in your throne, DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT THE MIRRORS. Your partner must wait outside of the throne room during the game.  Also, do not let the candle go out. Should your body move, the fan behind you will blow out the candle making you vulnerable.

With your eyes focused on the darkness in front of you, begin asking questions. The answers, if you receive any, will come from the mirrors on either side. DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT THE MIRRORS! When listening to the replies, you must remember one thing- the answers will be coming from either the fool or the queen, but you may not know which is which. So be careful about following any advice you are given. The game continues until 4:34am. DO NOT LEAVE THE THRONE UNTIL THEN!

At 4:34am, your partner will end the game by calling out your name. If this doesn’t work then he/she should call your cell phone. Should this fail to bring you out of the game, your partner should enter the room and use the mug filled with water from the bucket to snap you out of it.

How to Keep Yourself Safe

During the course of the game, you should try to stay aware of your surroundings as best as possible. If you become lost during the game, just use your sentimental object to bring you back.

So there you have it- complete instructions to a game you should NEVER PLAY! Now go break out a pack of Uno cards instead.

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