The 13th Floor

Jason Voorhees And Pennywise Are CORPSE GRINDERS – This Week’s Horror News Rundown

The thing about horror is, it can’t be in your face all the danged time. Even the scariest movies need to give you a moment to catch your breath and reset your expectations, before BLOWING YOUR DAMNED MIND with the next mind-blowing shock.

And horror news can be kind of the same way. Not every week can be overstuffed with wonders. Some weeks, like this one, have a handful of exciting new stories, a dorky poster premiere and one of the dumbest looking monster movie trailers we’ve ever seen.

So take a chill pill, enjoy this week’s Horror News Rundown, and watch out… because next week will BLOW YOUR MIND! (Probably.)

Meet Your New Pennywise: Bill Skarsgard!

Pennywise Bill Skarsgard Hemlock Grove
The new, theatrical adaptation of Stephen King’s epic horror tome IT has hit a lot of potholes on its way to the screen. The production lost TRUE DETECTIVE filmmaker Cary Fukunaga and eventually replaced him with Andy Muschietti (MAMA). As the delays piled on, the production also lost actor Will Poulter (WE’RE THE MILLERS), who was a completely left-field but genuinely intriguing choice to play the embodiment of all your childhood nightmares, Pennywise the Clown.

The search for a new Pennywise ended earlier this week, when Swedish actor Bill Skarsgard was revealed to have been cast in the iconic role, originally performed by the great Tim Curry. (Hollywood Reporter broke the story.) Bill Skarsgard is not a household name yet but he has co-starred in the Netflix werewolf series HEMLOCK GROVE, and also the YA sci-fi sequel ALLEGIANT. The actor is the brother of TRUE BLOOD co-star Alexander Skarsgard, and the son of THOR co-star Stellan Skarsgard.

The new adaptation of IT will be filmed as a two-part production, with the first film introducing “The Losers Club” as children in the town of Derry, Maine, and their first fateful encounter with the demon known as Pennywise. The second film will take place years later, as the surviving members of The Losers Club return to Derry to finish what they started.

This new version of IT is scheduled to debut in September of 2017!

FRIDAY THE 13TH: A NEWNEW BEGINNING

Friday the 13th
Nobody knows why the hell it’s taking so long to make another FRIDAY THE 13TH movie. Maybe the fact that the next film will be the 13th in the franchise is giving all the producers performance anxiety. But it’s coming, and according to Brad Fuller it’s going to feature a new origin story for Jason Voorhees.

Yes, Brad Fuller is currently doing the rounds, promoting the new TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES movie, and The Reel Word got him to spill the beans about what’s coming up in FRIDAY THE 13TH. Aaron Guzikowski, the screenwriter of the acclaimed 2013 thriller PRISONERS, is hard at work on the screenplay and apparently he’s starting from the very beginning.

Aaron’s story has great characters…You kind of have to understand Jason Voorhees, so we go back and we kind of started over and work our way forward, Brad Fuller said. When asked if it’s an origin story, he replied, “Origin-ish, but it’s an origin that no one has seen before. Obviously Pamela’s there, but it’s a little bit different from what you’ve seen before.

Fans are free to speculate about what this could mean, and so are we! We know next to nothing about Jason Voorhees’ father, the rest of his family (we met some of them in JASON GOES TO HELL), or how he spent the years between his tragic drowning and his mother’s murderous rampage. That’s a heck of a lot of ground that Aaron Guzikowski could be exploring. We’ll be very curious to see what he unearths when the film finally comes out!

This New Poster Brings Out the ‘Wurst in YOGA HOSERS

Yoga Hosers Poster
Kevin Smith’s horror-comedy YOGA HOSERS will finally be revealed to the world this summer, bringing “The Colleens” from his divisive Canadian body horror flick TUSK into the limelight. Played by Smith’s daughter, Harley Quinn Smith, and Johnny Depp’s daughter Lily-Rose Depp, the film is the story of two convenience store clerks who use their martial arts yoga skills to fight off an invading army of Hitler clones made out of bratwurst.

Yup, that’s the movie. You either want to see that or you don’t, so the new poster for YOGA HOSERS that premiered earlier this week (via Coming Soon) is totally appropriate. There the Colleens are, ARMY OF DARKNESS style, standing astride the monstrous Brazis.

It’s a silly film and a silly poster. We hope you enjoyed that. Moving on!

THE CORPSE GRINDERS Will Grind Corpses Again!

The Corpse Grinders
The 1971 gore film THE CORPSE GRINDERS has developed a respectable cult reputation over the years, in part because it has an awesome title, and in part because it has an awesome plot. THE CORPSE GRINDERS is the story of a cat food company that grinds corpses up into their products, transforming all the cats in town into man-eating monsters.

The remake comes from German filmmaker Timo Rose (UNRATED: THE MOVIE), whose film was announced a month ago and has now officially gone into production (via Dread Central).

Fans of the killer cat genre – and we are nothing if not legion – may be disappointed in this new version of THE CORPSE GRINDERS. Timo Rose told Fangoria that the remake will eschew the killer cats in favor of a story that stays focused on the actual corpse grinding.

Which is actually kind of okay, since the original movie forgets about the killer cat angle pretty quickly anyhow.

MONSTER TRUCKS (Literally)

We knew there was a film called MONSTER TRUCKS on the horizon, but for some reason we thought it might be a film about the actual contraptions that people actually drive. Remember Bigfoot? Remember Gravedigger? Those were real cars with real drivers. Why not make a movie about them?

Because, apparently, somebody had the straight-up genius idea to make a film about trucks that were actually monsters. Or rather, monsters that like to snuggle up inside of trucks and do the same job as their engines. Anyway, this may be the goofiest concept of its kind since FOODFIGHT! and we can’t help but be totally charmed.

Check out the new trailer above and see for yourself MONSTER TRUCKS comes out next January (because of course it does).

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