The 13th Floor

What We Want To See In The Next FRIDAY THE 13TH Movie

The time has come yet again. It’s Friday May 13th and while the majority of you out there reading this will no doubt be partaking in some sort of Jason inspired marathon tonight, I’m sad to report that we don’t have another FRIDAY THE 13TH movie opening today as we should. The last time that Jason Voorhees swung his machete was back in 2009, over 7 years ago! Back during the Paramount years, they managed to crank out another Voorhees outing every year. What happened? What’s the problem?

At the moment, my simple answer is the fine fiends over at Platinum Dunes are just overthinking it. For years, they’ve been grappling with various interpretations of how to proceed with the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise. Granted, their 2009 reboot was a big box office success, but the ticket sales dropped drastically by the 2nd weekend. Fan reception was lukewarm at best. We all agree that Derek Mears pretty much owned as Jason Voorhees and we’d all love to see him get another go at it. But the perfect crop of CW style young adults passing for kids hit every check box on the cliché list. The kids from the opening sequence are great! And I would’ve loved to have spent the entire movie with them, but instead we got a new group of very generic characters and equally generic “kills.” Jared Padalecki as Clay Miller (a variation on the Rob character from FRIDAY 4) was also one of its strongest points.

For a follow-up, they considered a “found footage” style FRIDAY THE 13TH movie, although I have no idea why. A FRIDAY movie in 3D? Worked back in 1982, so why not? And David Bruckner was attached for several years and had planned to set it in the 80’s, but that version also fell through. The formula for crafting a successful FRIDAY THE 13TH movie isn’t rocket science. Paramount pretty much remade the same movie 7 times before handing over the reins to New Line. Just stick with a few basic things, and we’ll be happy! Really! Here are some suggestions.

The next Friday the 13th doesn’t land until January of next year, so sadly there’s no way for Jason to return in 2016. (Except in the video game!) But can we please consider following the basic outlines above? It’d be great if the big guy would terrorize cinemas once every year on Friday the 13th again. We’ll be waiting…