After this week’s unusual string of horrifying news stories, nothing could surprise us anymore. We’ve got an apocalyptic SCOOBY DOO on the horizon. We’ve got the return of TUSK. We’ve got a whole new line of MADBALLS. We’ve got the release of a film that, frankly, we thought was never, ever going to see the light of day. At this point, they could announce that they’ve discovered a complete print of the long-lost “spider pit” footage from KING KONG and it would hardly phase us, this week was so damned weird.
So let’s not waste any time. Take a look at the strangest and most badass news stories of the week, in Blumhouse’s latest Horror News Rundown.
Is Slender Man Coming to AMERICAN HORROR STORY?
The sexy, violent and altogether disturbing television series AMERICAN HORROR STORY has yet to announce their plan for the upcoming, sixth season. But if US Weekly is to be believed, it’s probably going to be about Slender Man.
According to their insider, the producers of AMERICAN HORROR STORY are currently trying to acquire the rights to a completely different script, with the intent to transform it into a seasonal arc on the show. Every season of AMERICAN HORROR STORY thus far has been a complete story arc from different eras in American history, focusing on distinctly disturbing iconography like haunted houses, witches and so-called “freak shows.”
Slender Man is perhaps the most famous “creepy pasta” ever created, and originated on the website SOMETHING AWFUL during a photoshop contest. Forum user Eric Knudsen inserted a tall, faceless man in a business suit in the background of black-and-white photos, with captions indicating that the children in those photographs were never seen again. Since then, Slender Man has inspired video games and even, tragically, real life murders.
If true (and that is, at this point, a big “if”), Slender Man would admittedly make an appropriate addition to the AMERICAN HORROR STORY mythology, since he has become the de facto boogeyman for a new generation of fright fans. The big question, however, is how he would fare in a fight against Lady Gaga.
Kevin Smith Announces TUSK vs. MOOSE JAWS
Prolific podcaster and occasional filmmaker Kevin Smith debuted his latest horror comedy YOGA HOSERS at the Sundance Film Festival earlier this week. The second film in his proposed trilogy – after TUSK, which transformed Justin Long into a walrus named “Mr. Tusk” – pits two convenience store clerks (played by the teenaged daughters of Kevin Smith and Johnny Depp) against an evil Nazi plot to resurrect Hitler in bratwurst form. And he’s not done yet.
Smith’s next film will be the third in his Canadian horror-comedy trilogy, MOOSE JAWS, which is basically JAWS but with a Moose in Saskatchewan. But we already knew that. What we didn’t know, and what Smith revealed in a Q&A at Sundance, was that the film will also feature a scene in which “Mr. Tusk” is enlisted to fight the man-eating moose.
Whether or not this is a scene that anybody except Kevin Smith wants to see is a matter of some debate, but news is news. This is happening, folks. Plan your lives accordingly.
Nothing Can Prepare You For the SCOOBY APOCALYPSE
And so is this: DC Comics announced several new series based on classic old Hanna-Barbera cartoons this week, with art and concepts so “badass” that many assumed that the publisher must have been joking. But no, this is real. They really are working on a WACKY RACE LAND comic in the vein of MAD MAX: FURY ROAD, and more importantly, they really are going to release a series called SCOOBY APOCALYPSE.
The new comics debuted their strange new artwork at Entertainment Weekly, and the standout was clearly the radical new interpretation of SCOOBY-DOO, which long ago abandoned its secular tales of crooked real estate agents in monster masks in favor of a world where ghosts and goblins were very much real. Jim Lee is responsible for the reboot, which features Fred and Daphne with ghost-hunting guns a la FILMATION’S GHOSTBUSTERS, and the talking dog Scooby Doo with what looks like a cybernetic eye.
Once again we remind you: THIS IS REAL.
Finally: The Mile-High Horror Movie 7500 Comes Home
JU-ON director Takashi Shimizu is finally – finally! – back with 7500, a high-flying horror movie that was finished in 2012 and is only just getting its premiere in the United States, as announced this week by Lions Gate.
7500 takes place on a flight from Los Angeles to Tokyo, where Leslie Bibb, Jamie Chung, Jerry Ferrara, Ryan Kwanten, Johnathon Schaech, Amy Smart and Scout Taylor-Compton find themselves beset by the supernatural.
Was 7500 delayed for damned good reasons, or will this turn out to be another decent horror flick that fell prey to studio nonsense? We’ll find out when 7500 arrives on DVD and Digital HD on April 12, 2016. Watch the trailer below:
UMBRELLA CORPS. Brings Multiplayer to RESIDENT EVIL in May
Capcom has finally caved to the trends: UMBRELLA CORPS., a spin-off of the popular RESIDENT EVIL video game franchise, will pit players against zombies in recognizable arenas, and it’s playing to the tournament crowd.
The second trailer for UMBRELLA CORPS. premiered this week and showed off a level fans of the series will recognize from the unforgettable opening of RESIDENT EVIL 4. Players will face off against zombies in multiplayer combat on the PlayStation 4 and PC on an unspecified date in May 2016, when the game will premiere with the reasonably low price of $30.
Check out the trailer below, and find us online to kick our asses, RESIDENT EVIL style.
Elsewhere in the world of zombie video games, the latest new installment of the WALKING DEAD franchise has hit a snag. Overkill’s new video game, separate from the heartbreaking Telltale Games adventure series, has just been delayed until 2017.
The cooperative first-person shooter, made by Overkill and Skybound, was originally announced in 2014 and set for a 2016 release. The delay comes from a new partnership with Starbreeze and Smilegate, to prepare the game for simultaneous release in both North America and Asia and to add additional content, according to Dread Central.
Overkill’s THE WALKING DEAD released a trailer for the game at the 2015 Electronics Entertainment Expo, a.k.a. E3, which you can watch below. Frankly, it looks like just about every other first-person zombie shooter, but with a little luck it will play well regardless.
The MADBALLS Are Back, And They’re Bringing Some Friends!
Madballs are probably of the strangest and most fondly remembered monster toys of the 1980s (no small feat, since those REAL GHOSTBUSTERS action figures were awesome). The Madballs were basically just balls, of foam variety, but they had monstrous faces and personalities, and names like Slobulus, Horn Head, Oculus Orbus and Crack Head… which was later renamed Bash Brain, for obvious reasons.
The Madballs spawned a comic book series and two straight-to-video cartoon shorts in the 1980s, but they have been conspicuously absent from the 1980s nostalgia boom of the 21st century… until now. Mondo announced this week the release of “MondoBalls,” which will soon be available for pre-order on their official site.
Entertainment Weekly made the unexpected announcement, and revealed that the classic Madballs Skull Face, Horn Head and Slobulus will be included in the first wave, along with a Madball – sorry, “MondoBall” – version of the Spider-Man villain Venom. Future MondoBalls will feature characters from both the GREMLINS and FRIDAY THE 13TH horror movie franchises.
The PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE Remake Will Affect You, In the Future
Gravitas Ventures has picked up the new horror remake PLAN 9, based on Edward D. Wood Jr.’s 1959 cult classic PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE. The original film was about aliens who resurrect the dead to prove a point about their own superior intelligence, and starred horror icons Vampira and (posthumously) Bela Lugosi as two of the corpses.
The original film is considered one of the worst movies ever made, and with good cause. The dialogue is atrocious, the production values are laughable and the plot goes several miles beyond dumb. So filmmaker John Johnston (the writer of SKELETON KEY 2 and 3, which apparently exist) will probably be able to improve on Wood’s film… but will this new version be even remotely as memorable?
The trailer for PLAN 9 premiered earlier this week, in advance of a VOD release on February 16. (Watch it below.) PLAN 9 will eventually become available on DVD in April or May, according to Horror Society.
Who Wants to Buy the Used Napkins of Tim Burton?
Tim Burton’s distinctive artistic style has both inspired audiences and made them scratch their heads. And now, it will probably make you want to blow your nose.
Steeles Publishing announced this week a new, “mini companion” to their award-winning collection THE ART OF TIM BURTON, consisting of napkin art produced by the filmmaker during his off hours.
THINGS YOU THINK ABOUT IN A BAR: THE NAPKIN ART OF TIM BURTON is a 6×6 inch book consisting of 140 pages (including two pull outs), and retails for a very reasonable $19.99 at the Steeles Publishing website. Check out a quick preview of Tim Burton’s napkin masterpieces, and head on over there to order your own copy.